, , , , , , , , ,

Lauren & Kyle highchairs

OK – So I’m still supposed to be on my “summer sabbatical” from all social media.   But I’m kinda sad today… and I just needed to tell someone.  So I’ll make it quick.  Then it doesn’t really count…?

After a restless night’s sleep, I awakened with this gnawing, empty feeling way down in my gut that only a mom would know.  It was that helpless feeling of time marching on; whether you agreed to be part of the band… or not.  You see, my babies turned 23 today.  Without me.  Yep – The very first time that they have been away from us on their birthday.  Now before you start telling me all of that logical, “after all, they are ADULTS now“, baloney, let me just say right up front that I get all that.  I, honestly, could not be more proud of the adult children that we have raised. We feel that we have been mightily blessed and thank God for them each and every day. xo

But moms want need to feel needed sometimes… Ok, maybe all the time?  I dunno.  It varies.  My sister and I were talking on the phone last night about this very thing.  We complain about having to drive them all around town when they are little… here, there and everywhere.  Some days are endless.  Then they go off and get their driver’s license.  That’s great news, right?  Sure it is.  Until that moment when you wake up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat realizing that they don’t need you to drive them anywhere… anymore.  Time marches on.  Your job there is done.

You see, the heart is not the brain.  These two body parts operate quite independently of one another.  There is logic, and then there is love.  In my logical brain, I am so happy for them today.  They are with each other, and they are with good friends.  Everything is exactly the way it should be; and this is good.  Time marches on.

But deep in my soul, they will always be my babies… and today, selfishly, my heart aches like crazy.

live happy ~ Cathy