their chapter…

Tags

"Jealous of the Angels", "Jenn Bostic", "our journey", angels, chapters, family, friends, healing, life, love, memories

Yesterday I wrote of “chapters“; my word for 2015. This morning I awakened with a sense of the real impact of such a word. You see, today marks the closing of a very painful chapter for some dear friends of ours. Exactly one year has passed since they lost a beloved husband and dad. Today we remember Dan.

As their friends, we exist only on the outside of their incredible pain. In reality, we are rendered utterly helpless in their grief. What can we do? What can we say? At the very core, the truth is painfully simple really. Nothing. Their hearts have but one wish; and, sadly, we cannot bring him back.

So we simply do what we can. And it all starts with love. First and foremost, We love them… Quietly. Every day. Secondly, we honor their family’s long and painful journey by loving those around us with that very same all encompassing love. Quietly. Every day.

We cry with them… we cry for them. Just this morning I stumbled across this beautiful song that someone had selected for their mom’s funeral. It’s beautiful. And yes. I cried. You will too…  Jealous of the Angels (Jenn Bostic)

It’s morning, February 2, 2015… the world still dark and silent. I lit a candle and said a quiet prayer. Tonight, in a community prayer service, we will gather once again; just as we did every single week in the months before Dan’s passing. In those days and weeks we prayed for Dan’s healing. But tonight we will pray, along with Dan in heaven, for his family’s healing.

One year later. Their journey; their chapter…

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“my word”

Tags

"Blake Shelton", "chapters of my life", "empty nesters", "Growing up", "Joyful Scribblings", "my word", "one little word", "raising children", chapters, children, kids, motherhood, words

Source: Eqinox/We Heart It

I finally decided on “my word”. For 2015. My word is “chapters”.

Whew! I mean, here it is, February 1st. Already. That means I existed the entire first month of January, 2015… with no word. What? How? OK. Here’s the deal. I didn’t want to just grab any random word; and call it MY word. I had to ponder. And dwell. And stress. Now I probably shoulda coulda woulda started this process a little earlier, but to be quite honest with y’all (my son moved to Dallas. Gotta do that y’all thingie every once in awhile now…), I DID NOT KNOW we had to have “a word”. Yep. I’m just being really honest here. I just didn’t know. Did you know? Ya. You probably did. My friend Dawn has a word. (Click HERE) And she had a word last year as well. She just kinda “knows” these things tho…

“What’s the greatest chapter in your book? Are there pages where it hurts to look?”

A couple lines from one of my fav Blake Shelton songs… Truth is, I have always looked at my life as a book, and every single chapter in “my book” has made me the very person that I am today. The good, the not so good; accomplishments, defeat; amazing triumphs and overwhelming heartbreaks; over-the-top joy, and excruciating pain. It is all me. It is my book. Those are my chapters.

2015 promises to be a big year for me. As it stands now, I will be writing many new chapters throughout the year. And closing others. Case in point, I started the year off by closing the longest running, absolutely hands-down greatest chapter in my “book of life” thus far… The chapter dedicated to raising my (amazing) kids. You notice I did NOT say the chapter dedicated to “Motherhood”. Oh no, no, no.  I know better than that. There is no “one chapter”; no “end” to the privilege of Motherhood. My kids will ALWAYS be my kids, and I will ALWAYS be their mom. Nothing will ever change that. EVER. Yes; there are many levels, and chapters, to Motherhood. But the reality is, I am done “raising” my children. They are both almost 25 years old now. Adults; living and working on their own. But I must be honest in telling you, it hurt like crazy to turn that page. To leave behind that amazing chapter and move on.

“What’s the greatest chapter in your book? Are there pages where it hurts to look…?”

2015… Stay tuned.

Source: naturalhealthmag.com

live happy… Cathy

saying goodbye to 2014…

Tags

"Growing up", "New Year's Eve", "prayers for peace", "saying goodbye", blessings, family, gratitude

Saying goodbye to 2014 is bittersweet. It has certainly been a year of change, to say the least.

Both of our kids graduated college and entered the (gulp!) “real world”; acquiring great jobs right out of school. I must tell you that we sincerely appreciate what an incredible blessing this is…!! In the fall, our son moved 500 miles away to Dallas, and that has been a real adjustment for our family. We miss him terribly; but he is happy and settled and doing well. Truthfully, at the end of the day, that is all that really matters. And, after much searching, our daughter has finally found a place to live (here in KC, thank goodness!!) and is moving out with friends in the next couple of weeks. She is SO excited!! Well… it certainly looks like the hubbie and I are gonna be empty nesters here in 2015!! Our plans to move my mom, dad and youngest brother to Kansas City escalated in 2014.  Their home, where I grew up, is in Florissant, Missouri… just north of Ferguson, Missouri. Unfortunately, now everyone knows exactly where that is on a map. I have 21 family members living in the area. Two are police officers. Needless to say, it has been a very tense and emotional experience for our entire family. We hope to have my parents and brother moved to Kansas City very soon.

In the meantime, please join me in praying for peace. Everywhere…

We have a family prayer book that I started back in January 2002. Inside that book – snipits, clippings, pictures… memories of those people that we have lost over the past 13 years; or those people that have simply been in need of our prayers.

“A picture is worth a thousand words, but the memories are priceless”.

For the many we said goodbye to in 2014… We light a single candle. There are no words. xo

he is home

Tags

"family time", "Growing up", "leaving home", children, family, mothers, sons

Part of my heart went missing this morning.

My son was here for Christmas…  Nine days!  Wow!!!  In the weeks/days leading up to his arrival, I was SO over-the-top excited. It would be absolutely amazing to have him here that long!  Such an incredible Christmas blessing. As excited as I was, however, I knew there were also risks. Having him here that long would mean that my heart might start to play tricks on me. And boy was I was right. It certainly did.

My heart went right into “mama mode”. He was back home. In his old room, his old bed. His dishes were in the sink. He was asleep on the couch with the dogs. His towel was back on his bathroom floor. It was just like it was before he moved away.

There were friends and family; dinners and parties; games and movies. We ate too much and slept too little. We laughed, we cried, we reminisced.

Until this morning…

I woke up with that feeling. You know the one. It’s dark and empty and makes you want to just close your eyes and return to the comfort of your dreams. But reality is unavoidable. So after a good cry (Wait. Is there such a thing…?), I walked down the hall towards his (old) bedroom. The light was on. I knocked. “What sounds good for breakfast? Eggs? French toast? Smoothie?” I could see him searching my face; my eyes. He knew. “A smoothie would be great.”, he replied, almost apologetically. I feel terrible about being so sad in front of him, but he knows that is just the way of my heart. The next hour passed in a heartbeat. It was time to go. His cousin’s car was in the driveway ready to begin the eight hour, 500 mile journey home. Yes… Home. The reality is, this is not “home” for him anymore. In his heart; Yes. A part of his heart will always be “home” here… in our hearts. No matter where life takes all of us. But he has moved on, and it is just as it should be. That, my friends, is one hefty of dose of reality. I have no regrets, though. None. I wouldn’t trade a single moment of all the happy, even knowing that the sad would follow. We must always remember to savor each and every moment that we are blessed with.

Exactly eight hours later; his text…  “Made it back safe & sound. Miss & love you.” He includes a sad emoji and a big red heart. He is not an emoji guy. That was for me. I simply respond, “me too“.

He is home.

the magical Christmas tree

Tags

"Christmas magic", "Christmas tree", "the magic of Christmas", "the magical Christmas tree", Christmas

It’s early. And quiet. And the tree is on…

I am supposed to be doing something else right now; but I can’t. I am completely wrapped up in magic and memories this morning. So I succumb to the moment. I turn on some relaxing music, my “Spa Christmas” CD (not kidding.), light a Christmas candle and pour another cup of hot coffee. We need to chat…

You see, I realized something very, very important this morning.

Our Christmas tree is magical.

Here’s the deal. Over the years our tastes have changed, decorations have come and gone, we have even moved from house to house. But something significant occurred to me this morning. Our Christmas tree is different. It defines us as a family. It is the one true constant that ties every single Christmas together throughout the years.

We are not a fancy tree family. No white lights, Waterford crystal and Christopher Radko ornaments here, my friends. Our lights are bright and multi-colored; our ornaments an eclectic combination of wonderful memories. A snapshot of who we are as a family.

A Chiefs ornament that my sweet (widdle) hubbie made as a kid in 1971; a Santa walking his 3 little pigs (that’s mine!), a collection of treasured ornaments given to my kids every year from their grandparents, our very own “Christmas Vacation” squirrel, a beautiful assortment of treasures hand-painted by my (very talented) mom…

We have decorated this tree together as a family for more than 24 years. When it comes to our favorites (Mom & Dad), however… that is easy. We have a little box that houses all of our very, very favorite little treasures. Most of them date back 20+ years to the preschool days. Our precious little angels –  perfectly framed in construction paper stars and sequins. Glittered teddy bears with crooked little googly eyes hand-crafted by two adorable little three year olds. Priceless. And, without a doubt, magical…

In the quiet of this magical morning, as I was snapping pictures of our beautiful tree – I was overcome with emotion… the treasured memories of days gone by. An intense happy and sad at the same time. Our son moved to Dallas in the fall. He was home for Thanksgiving, and it felt beyond wonderful to have both of my kids home at the same time again. As a family, we treasured every single moment together xoxoxoxo  And although our time passed so very quickly, we were able to accomplish one very, very important thing before he left. We decorated the tree. Our magical tree…

For those of you who may not believe in the magic of Christmas, allow me to share one final thing. As I was reminiscing this morning, completely wrapped in a warm blanket of memories from the past, I was also very focused on the happiness of this given moment. The present; a gift. A thought suddenly occurred to me. What about our kids? I wonder what favorite memories and traditions they will carry with them into THEIR futures? Our daughter LOVES Christmas, her family and tradition. I think it is safe to say that she will probably take a lot of her memories of Christmas past into her future. My son is also very family oriented, but decorating for Christmas was never a real “priority” for him. When they were little, both of my kids each had their own little tree in their rooms. Santa would always leave one little gift under their (room) tree on Christmas Eve… if it was up!! My daughter had one tree with lights AND three bright tinsel trees plus an entire collection of her own ornaments that she had collected over the years. No problem there, Santa. My son? Well that was a completely different story. Trying to get him to decorate his one little (room) tree was next to impossible. That is, until he finally figured it out. He started hiding the little tree (completely decorated) in the back of his closet from year to year. From that point on, it was never a problem.

So you are probably wondering, as I was this morning, what special memories will he carry into his Christmas future…? He is on his own now for the first time, far from home at Christmas time. He lives alone and although he will be back in Kansas City a few days before Christmas, I was sad thinking that that he would not have any “Christmas” in his new apartment over the next few weeks. It was at that very moment that a text came through on my phone. “Mom, I’m thinking about getting a Christmas tree… Any chance you could send my ornaments? They should be in the back of my closet.”

I cried. Yes, sweetie. I know where they are.

And that is the story of the magical Christmas tree. The end. 

one week and counting…

Tags

"creationsbycathy", "giving thanks", Dallas, family, gratitude, Instagram, Kansas City, kids, Thanksgiving

My baby boy moved to Dallas in September. I miss him.

A lot.

How old? Twenty four. So what…!? You don’t just NOT miss your kid cause they are 24 with a real job… in their own apartment… in a fun area… surrounded by people their own age… in a big city… with a lot of golf and restaurants and nightlife… ??

Yep. I’m pretty much screwed.

So I simply hang on to whatever lands in my lap. A phone call, a letter in the mailbox funny text, an Instagram pic, a Snapchat video… Anything that brings him just a bit closer to home. But I miss still miss him.

A lot.

If you follow me on Instagram (creationsbycathy) you know that I have been posting every day during the month of November about things that I am grateful for. Spoiler alert… Exactly one week from today is Thanksgiving. A day for giving thanks for all of our many, many blessings. That being said, I can already tell you what I will be posting that day. “Someone” is flying in to spend Thanksgiving with his family… and mama bear, papa bear and sister are so, so, SO excited!! Three and a half glorious days!! The hugs. The kisses. Sitting next to him on the couch. Waking up in the morning with BOTH of my kids here… It’s almost too much! Yes, the countdown has begun…

tick, tock, tick, tock….

live happy

hello, again

Tags

blessings, friendship, gratitude, hello again, life, November

source: Warren Photographic

hello.  again….

I’ve been gone awhile.  Six months, to be exact.  But I’m back. In my usual, haphazard sort of way.  You know; a post every day for 2 weeks.  Then nothing for the next three weeks.

Or six months.

I needed a little social media hiatus, I guess. A time to chill.  Regroup.  Collect my thoughts. Ponder life…

Bold statement: “I’m going to attempt to be a bit more consistent in my blogging” (don’t think that I  don’t hear the muffled giggles amongst you…)

Followed by the “however…” statement: “In order to do so, however, I must learn to be a bit more, well.. brief?”  (OK – the muffled giggles just turned to outright laughter…!)

OK, Yes.  I said brief.  I know.  It sounds ridiculous coming from me, doesn’t it!?  I agree. But I’m sure gonna try. Truth is, I think that I really need this place, this little space, to share what’s in my head and my heart. I’ve said it a million times before, but blogging – for me – is an online journal. My diary. My therapy. I’m sharing my thoughts, feelings, experiences with you, in hopes that something that I say may touch your life in some small way. Perhaps we will connect on some level. Start a conversation. Or not. It may simply be something you just needed to hear or see at that very moment. Something in your heart; not to be shared with anyone. That works for me too…

So it’s November. A beautiful month to honor the spirit of gratitude. Every day this month I am going to post a picture on Instagram; something that I am grateful for.  I am going to jump back on Facebook, as well. Although not as often as I used to. And, of course, stay tuned – right here – for future “brief, yet meaningful” blog posts from yours truly! (teehee!!) 

yes.  it’s hello. again…

Human Beings are all Kinds of Awesome-Sauce (Part-2)

Tags

"kindness counts", "live happy", "Monday morning", "random acts of kindness", "The Kindness Blog", kindness

Having a rough Monday so far? Well, I’m about to change all of that. This is from a blog that I follow… “The Kindness Blog”. I guarantee a change in your day once you read through all of these. Promise. I was going to try and list my favorites; but it was just too hard. Do be sure to read the one the one of the gentleman in a dark blue jacket holding a Starbucks coffee. Then get out there and “Do some kindness”… xo
Kindness counts. live happy…

Kindness Blog

This is a follow-up to Human Beings are all Kinds of Awesome-Sauce part one! Enjoy 🙂

A little girl fell from the fourth story of a building, and these men caught her.

A runner collapsed near the finish line of the Boston Marathon, and four other runners picked him up and carried him over the finish line.

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joyful scribblings

Tags

"Dawn Pasco", "Joyful Scribblings", "Martha Stewart", "SNAP Conference", "Trader Joe's", blogging, crafting, crafts, fate, friendship, photography, serendipity

About a year ago, I stumbled across the blog of a gal named Dawn. “Joyful Scribblings“.  I like it. She made a nice comment on one of my blogposts, so I went to her blog to “check her out”. (No. I’m not a creeper. That’s what bloggers do with other bloggers!) In the process, I stumbled across a “few” similarities…  Married with a son and a daughter, an SUV and a brown 2 story house “in the suburbs”. A dog person with a sweet tooth and a frequent shopper at Ann Taylor Loft, Trader Joe’s and Target. OK. Nothing earth shattering so far. But then it went a little deeper. Self described as “a dreamer, a list maker, a person who is passionate about collecting ideas. All with a touch of sarcasm…“??  Oh my. She was describing ME! She went on to list two things that are on my “bucket list” that most people don’t even know about me… I would love to play the drums (yes. really.) and I dream of publishing a book of my writings someday. OK, Dawn. Whoever and wherever you are; You had me at “Hello”.

I immediately called my mom to inquire about the day of my birth. Is it possible that I might actually have a twin sister somewhere out there that someone just forgot to mention…? I told my mom that somehow, somewhere; I would meet this obviously “wonderful, amazing, All-American” blogger… named Dawn.

Several weeks later, I got an email request to participate in a group blogpost “Lazy Days and BBQ’s” from another blogger that I had never met. I was invited to come in as the resident “expert” (teehee!) on entertaining/table settings. That bloggers name?  Yep.  It was Dawn. Don’t believe in fate? Fair enough. Read on.

In the world of blogging, one of the really fun things is getting to “meet” people online that live hundreds (or even thousands) of miles away. I was excited to know where I was headed if I wanted to meet this new friend of mine at some point. As it ends up, this get together wasn’t going to cost much in the way of travel miles.  Dawn lives less than five miles from my house…!! Ha! But wait! There’s more. Our daughters share the same first name. Our sons share the same middle name.  And her son’s first name is what we were going to name our daughter when we thought she was a boy! Ha! And it just continues on and on from there.  Some of our extended family similarities would blow your mind…   

So we eventually met at a Starbucks to discuss the details of our “group blog”. Soon after, we decided to go to a “Blogging Conference” together in Chicago. The conference took place in July, and although we had only known each other for a couple of months, everyone thought we had been friends forever. Many even thought we were related! Too funny! One year later; we are great friends! We have lunch, we go on “double dates” with the hubbies, we share stories and problems and challenges, and we talk and text more than we probably should. We both love photography, food, crafting, the beach and have wonderful hubbies. We are a lot alike, but at the same time very different. Almost like the “yin and the yang” of the same person!

So off we go...  Heading to Salt Lake City this week for another blogging conference. SNAP! (Talked about this conference in a recent blog called “creative thinking“) Both Dawn and I are really looking forward to going. It looks like a GREAT group of bloggers that will be there!! Our “peeps”!! Last year we (somehow) ended up taking matching Martha Stewart turquoise leather notebooks. Not kidding. This year??  I’m thinking maybe matching “Hello Kitty” lunch boxes…

So without further adieu; my friend, Dawn…  “Although I consider myself ordinary, I’ve always believed I was meant to do and experience great things. We all are because we were created. I sometimes overlook the simple abundance and possibilities which surround me because I get caught up in the treadmill of life. My intention for creating this blog is to find the joy in the everyday.  Joy is something you feel from within and makes your heart smile. Outward circumstances can’t affect it unlike happiness. I hope you find joy from within and follow your passions.” 

Please hop over and check her out at Joyful Scribblings…

children are like kites

Tags

"children are like kites", "empty nest", "Growing up", childhood, love, motherhood

Source: This Little Piggy

Morning came early today. And it’s Monday. Not just any Monday, though. It’s the first Monday of (yet another) brand new chapter in my life. I’m not even sure what to call this chapter just yet. And I’m not really sure how I feel about it either. Love it? Hate it? At the end of the day, probably a mixture of both.

My daughter left this morning on an early flight to the east coast. For business. After four weeks of training, this is her first official business trip.  Of many! Wow. My arm felt like lead as I tried to wave goodbye. Her tail lights burned through the darkness, and then disappeared. Turning to come back inside, I saw “it”. THE poem. It has been on our refrigerator for a hundred years (give or take). I have shared this poem with many over the years. Mostly requested by other moms. When we got a new refrigerator we moved the old refrigerator out to the garage. The poem stayed intact. It’s funny though. I am in and out of the garage a million times a day, but never really “see” the poem. It’s just there as part of the refrigerator, I guess. But not this morning. No. This morning it was different. It was as if “THE poem” was covered in flashing neon lights, bells a’ringin… I stopped dead in my tracks to read it.

The garage door slammed shut.  I felt the darkness all around me. It was quiet. So very, very quiet. The hum of the refrigerator seemed almost deafening. She is officially all grown up. Out the door and off to new adventures, challenges, experiences.  It’s a solo flight for her; realistically and figuratively. Flights, rental cars, hotels… The real world; the unknown. Is she ready for everything? Definitely. She is a strong, smart, confident young woman who can handle anything. To say that I am proud – Well, that barely even scratches the surface of how I feel. Yes. I am VERY, VERY PROUD…!! But I am also a little sad. For me, not her. I am just not very good at this whole “letting go” thing. At all.

But… her time has come. “Time to soar, as she was meant to soar, free and ALONE. My job is done.”

“Children Are Like Kites”

“I see children as kites. You spend a lifetime trying to get them off the ground.
You run with them until you’re both breathless.
They crash.
They hit the rooftop.
You patch and comfort. You adjust and teach.  You watch them lifted by the wind and assure them that someday they will fly.  
Finally they are airborne…
They need more string and you keep letting it out.
But with each twist of the ball of twine,
there is a sadness that goes with the joy.
The kite becomes more distant,
and you know it won’t be long before that string will snap and the lifeline that holds you two together will no longer be the same.  
A child, as a kite, must be prepared to soar, as they were meant to soar, free and alone, to the greatest extent possible.
And only then can we collectively say that we have done our job.”

– Author unknown